So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
