We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
