If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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