It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I need a burrito and a hug.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
