We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
