I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
