i just google imaged poop.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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