He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
