the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
