I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize