My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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