guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
