exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you didnt know i had herpes?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
