Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
