Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
