This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
