I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Boobs speak an international language.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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