i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
