After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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