I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
my being single is dangerous.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
