please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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