I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
