she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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