My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
