I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
