god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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