I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
