After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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