Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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