you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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