It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
What a dumb baby whore.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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