I think I just saw someone hide a body.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
