hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
