i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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