My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
