My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
