i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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