i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
