The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
