im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
