i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
