All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
