life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
