Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
