Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
