Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
vagina is talking i cant
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
