I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
