Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize