it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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