I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
high people should be assigned attendants
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
