I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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