I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
