i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize