I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
