i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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