I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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