My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
