please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
