this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
