All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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