you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize