at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
