small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
