How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
