no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
