somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
