It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
