She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
