I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
the liver wants what the liver wants
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
