Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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